During my first day at work (I spoke no French), I had my first meeting with my new boss. During this meeting she started talking to her boss across the hall (in French) and after a while they started to seriously yell at each other. Comments were flying across the hallway in what seemed an increasingly heated discussion.

Now where I’m from people don’t generally yell at each other in professional situations. The Dutch I know are generally laid back and calm. They can be direct and angry, but in a professional setting, they rarely shout. When someone yells it signals impotence and lack of character on their part. It signals that they are not in control. In the Netherlands (as far as I know) yelling by a boss only occurs in the event of crucial failures. That is why I thought my boss in Paris was getting fired.

The French however are much more outspoken in their discussions. Perhaps I would even describe them as more passionate than the Dutch I know. In France whenever people raised their voice at me I felt somewhat disrespected and in the beginning even intimidated. However being a guest in this culture, the yelling lost it’s effect on me.

I learned that in an intercultural setting, things aren’t always what they seem. It also showed me that the Dutch way isn’t necessarily the right way. After 3 years in the French context I might even have taken on some of this behavior myself.

But don’t worry, if I ever yell at you, you won’t get fired.

Ça….?

Asking someone how they are doing usually consists of 2 parst: Ça and then some word.

For example: Ça boom?

This is usually used for Children. But sometimes they it is used in a playful way amongst friends.

Below some other ways to ask how someone is doing (and my attempt at translating them):

Ça Gazze? (Does it gass?)

Ça flot? (Does it float?)

Ça mousse?  (Does it mousse?)

Ça fart? (Does it wax?)

Ça grouve (Does it groove?)

The throwing of food

How ever the strangest thing is when they start throwing food at you…

Not literally (luckily) but the conversation could be as follows:

Tu as la peche? (do you have the peach)?

You could answer: Oui, or Oui, la patat! (the potato).

Once someone even answered: La Banane!
Recently, I even found out that “la banane” also means a smile from ear to ear.

So if they ask you if you are having a peach, don’t wonder about whether you look funny or whether you were supposed to bring fruit to the ocasion. Just answer “Yes and the potato as well”.

Disclaimer:
Just remember that anything you say in the French language is highly context sensitive. I found out after using “la banane” with several people that it’s actually better to only use it with friends.

Teddy and Lucky Luke, they come in pairs

The first thing that always happens at a sales pitch of a piece of software is that two people show up. The first is the better dressed of the two, the commercial guy (or lady) in nice suite etc, he is Lucky Luke. The second person is a technical person, the “teddy bear”. I have seen unshaven people wearing “Hard rock cafe” T-shirts to a 100K sales pitch…

Non and sense

This time both were well dressed, as what can be expected of a big software company. However the second thing that always happens at sales pitches is that a lot of non-sence is presented. The first 25% of the slides and thus time is spend on how good the company is and what it is they do besides the software product. THere are normally a number of slides containing endless bullits that are read from the screen (I can read….)  Make an interesting introduction related to our problem

Don’t tell me the car can drive…

All the demos I have been in tell so many obvious things. This time they demonstrated that you can zoom in on a map, that you can have personalized data. That you can calculate routs with stops along the way. This is all stuff that any piece of software can do and actually the basics that get you a spot at the table. When I buy a car I don’t want the sales men to tell me that it can drive…. Show me what your product does better then others.

Solve my problem not something else

None of the sales pitches I have been in so far have addressed the problem I had at the time. This time was no exception. Lucky Luke just started directly with what kind of problems we were bound to have without asking me or the audience about our real problems. This resulted in 1.5 of the 2 hours being lost trying to show us stuff that we don’t need nor seek. When you come in, ask my needs and then focus your pitch on it (if you can).

Some more don’ts,  come without a PowerPoint… If you dare…

Finally there were some other really basic errors. The presentation had useless graphs and schematics. and contained a competitor brand. Their demo was “the old version” and they were talking about “having new features in a few months”. At the end of the pitch “teddy bear” decided to pitch an entirely different product because there was some time left-over that had nothing to do with the audience.

Finally “Lucky Luke” started to discuss pricing with one person in the room where there were many others present as well. Personally this is something I would never do. First of all, convince me before you start talking about price. Second of all if I am not the one paying but someone else is, don’t discuss pricing with me.

Now you know a little bit why I hate big-company presentations. The notes for this post I wrote during the Pitch I described above .

In France you are allowed to drive a 125cc scooter with a car driver’s license. In other countries a vehicle like this is considered to be a motorcycle in other countries. So I decided to buy a Suzuki Burgman 125cc scooter for my commute.

Coming from the Western suburbs it takes me about 1 hour to get to work with public transportation. With the scooter however, it takes me 25-30 minutes top.

The reason for the short time is the position of the scooter on French roads. By law a scooter has to behave like a car. However in practice a totally different scene takes place on the roads around Paris…

Scooters sometimes drive up till twice the maximum speed. On top of this, scooters go in between the regular car lanes and pass by all the cars. In practice this means getting from A to B in Paris on a scooter is probably one of the fastest modes of transportation.

When driving my scooter I sometimes felt like being in the middle of a high speed car chase in an action packed movie, or an episode of 24. This feeling even becomes stronger  when a police car or ambulance would be leading the way, followed by a group of scooters and motor cycles.

Come to think of it, Jack Bauer  never drove a motor cycle, let a lone in Paris traffic. So I must be tougher than Jack Bauer…

When I get to one of these zebra crossing without ligths I approach it as a Dutch zebra crossing. In the Netherlands pedestrians have the right of way by law. So in NL you touch the zebracrossing and cars stop (usually). However in France you have to be a little bit more persistant.

I step onto the zebra crossing. Then I make eye contact with the approaching car and kind of start crossing. Cars always stop for me somehow, much to the amazement of French people. I don know if this is the Duch way, but it works for me.So if you drive a car in the Paris area… I will be looking you in the eye!

For six weeks I had been postponing actually doing it. I had all kinds of reservations and fears. What if he becomes angry? What if he takes an entire afternoon of my work day? What if he makes a scene in the restaurant? Finally last Tuesday I gathered all my strength and courage and decided to go ask him.

At 12:00 I left the office. On my walk to his place I felt the adrenaline rising, thinking of all the possible consequences. What if this restaurant would be full of colleagues? I could become the gossip of the month. I decided to press on regardless of my fears etc and approached him.

I greeted him, shook his hand and saw how bad his skin looked etc. So I asked: Are you hungry? He looked at me strangely and said: Yes. Then I said: “Would you like to have lunch with me right now”? He looked at me even more strangely and after a couple of moments he said: “…No”, together with some comments I did not understand. I asked again and pointed at the restaurant across the street. He said no again.

There I was… standing wondering what to do. To me an invitation to a “clochard” to have a warm meal at a restaurant was an opportunity you don’t pass by. However he did. So I asked God: Why did you make me go through all this stress to ask this guy, all these worries fears etc? While you knew he was going to say no to me?. God replied: “No you know how I feel”. God invites people all the time and gets rejected. The feeling of rejection is indescribable. It is not personal but different. I have trouble to put it to words. Now I know the feeling as well. I don’t know what I will do now. Maybe I’ll be like God and… Invite the clochard again…

I heard about these terms the first week we were here during intercultural training. I am in no way an expert so please forgive me any errors. Let me start by explaining the difference between the two terms:

Monochronic

A monochromic person has a very strict way of viewing time. Time is to be used efficient and spend on useful things. Meetings in companies need to have an agenda, start on time, follow the agenda and finish on schedule. During the meetings actual decisions are taken and real work is done. Monochrinic people like to have fixed projects with targets deadlines and outcomes. The most extreme monochromic concept is that of being able to waste time.

Polychronic

The polychromic are the opposite of this (you guessed it). For a polychromic person dealing with time is a more flexible thing. In a business context this can be seen in meetings starting later, with a limited agenda. The work is done outside meetings. For polychromic people time is more flexible. Every moment is a chance to build relationships with people and to discover new things. The most extreme quote I heard on this is: ” Life is in the hands of God, so why run for the train?”.

We have experienced that the French are generally much more towards the polychromic. For example, when the land lord made an appointment to send some builders over they showed up several hours late. Lines at the supermarket do not go very fast. At work meetings start late and begin with discussing non subject related things. The advantage of this flexibility is that it is easier to cancel or move meetings, there seems more time to relate to people. Although work and private are strictly separated.

The downside is that things progress less quick and efficient. There are less rules on outcomes and less targets. There is less to count on or plan, visitors for example are usually late.

So my question to you is: which one are you? If you come here your monochromic time view will be challenged if it is not at work it will be somewhere else.  I know mine has.

You get access to the public transportation through gates that open with a ticket. This is a similar system to London and Barcelona. Sometimes I see someone taking their time to pass through a gate. Then some stranger just jumps in, stands very close to them and slips through with them. So if this happens don’t be surprised, you might be hugged by a stranger . Some general observations about using public transportation:

Most people don’t make eye contact in the Public transportation. In the Netherlands I would be used to making eye contact sometimes, perhaps as a greeting when taking a place next to someone. This is another rule in France I had to get used to. Most people are pretty quit and relaxed. They read books and listen to their I-pods. When they speak it is very quietly not to disturb others. All and all a very civilized manner.

Getting off and on the trains is a different matter. In rush hour things can get very. Then when you try to get onto a train it’s like “every men for himself”. The doors open of the subway people start to come out. Then even before the last ones have exited the train people start entering. They do so until a point were literally no more people can fit. Meaning that you do not have to keep yourself standing, you will be kept upright by the people around you. Again you are hugged by strangers When you think it’s over and the train is full there are still people coming. Even to the last person people will squeeze. They walk towards the doors and turn their backs toward the train. Then they just step in pushing everyone behind them aside. They do this backwards so they don’t have to make eye contact with the people they are pushing. It first I found this very rude. But when I had to catch a train, I used the same method and the funny thing is no one really complains.

Kinds of public transportation.

There are generally three kinds of public transportation on rails in France. The TGV which takes you around France close to 300KM/h. Then there are the regional lines of a company called SNCF who go a little further away from Paris but not as far as the TGV. Then there are the RER lines that are also trains but stop less often than the subway and don’t go as far from Paris as the SNCF. Finally there are the subways, called ” Metro” that are only inside Paris.

I started jogging, I have done so now for 3 weeks. Every Sunday morning I run as soon as I wake up (twice 7.30 now and once 10.30 . As I was running along the Seine river, looking back at our first period here I realized some parallels between jogging and our transition. Let me share some of them here with you.

It looks great when you plan to do it but…

Whenever I decide to go jogging I realize in advance what satisfaction it will bring after I have done it. When I start running, my body starts protesting and I think: “O no what have I started? My bed was so nice and warm etc”. However, then I think again of the satisfaction I will have when I am done, that keeps me going. The same goes for the transition. Before me moved I was in a state similar of the moment right before I start jogging. The first week I felt absolutely terrible here. I wasn’t able to speak the language, we knew no one. We didn’t know where to find what and how to get things done. Like jogging I started feeling great about the move but when we begun everything in me started protesting.

Keep going…

After my body has begun protesting, I decide to keep on going. I can still go back but I keep focusing on the fact that it will do me good when I continue. I get into some kind of running rhythm. I find a comfortable way of placing my feet and syncing my breath. My body accepts the fact that I am running. I can start enjoying my surroundings and start thinking. I start to set goals, like where I will have my first break etc. The same goes for our transition. After our first week we got a lot of things arranged, bought the necessities, I got into a normal daily rhythm etc. This is the first period of enjoying the fact of living abroad. Experiencing all the new things and the culture. It is a great period.

The first break down…

After the first long period of running I become short of breath. My body starts protesting. Looking at the scenery has starting to become “normal”. All of a sudden I realize what I am doing. That there is still a long way to go before I am back home. It is the moment where I need to have a pause. Stop running for a moment and start walking. This has been the last week and will probably be the next weeks. Everything that used to be new about living in France is now normal. I start missing the “normal” things of the Netherlands, but also friends and family. The new daily rhythm seems a lot harder than the old one. I start asking myself the why questions: why have I done this? why France? Why haven’t I taken the more easy way of staying in the Netherlands?

These questions are the same as what happens when I start to run again. After the short walking break my body starts protesting even worse than before. However knowing the satisfaction of it that awaits me when I come home I keep going. After a couple of hundred meters I start enjoying again… until the next pause.

These are just some similarities I see. Even though I know that end benefit to me as a person, as professional. There are times when this transition is hard, and they will keep coming. I just need to take the proverbial break, and then start going again. But along the way, I enjoy the run very much!

When we bought our furniture at Ikea we had to get it delivered because it was too big for our car. So we went to the counter for delivery. The guy told us we were outside the express delivery zone and we would be called for a date. On the date deadline there was no call so the Monday after I decided to give them a call to find out where our stuff was. Especially because our stuff contained a bed we needed for the next weekend as we were having guests over.

A colleague of mine impersonated me and called the Ikea with me present. After many questions we found that our stuff was at a local transporting company and we called them. They told us they had just received it couldn’t possibly deliver it before next weekend. It would be at least 2 weeks. Their schedule had no room for a same week delivery. So I told my colleague to push, it didn’t work. Then I told my colleague to ask them on what the guests would be sleeping that weekend. All of a sudden this lady said: OK next Friday in the morning. You can imagine my face.

Ikea in Paris

This happened to us several times. The initial answer is no but when you push and try a little harder it works out. See also my post about buying a car. We were in Mc Donalds last Friday and Maaike was almost sent out because she was occupying a table without food (I was getting it). After some explaining there was no problem at all. Just another example. It doesn’t work for every case of course. Usually taking the following attitude helps a lot: “O great servant of the company my life is in your hands, I know I am wrong but how can I continue???”. How do I solve this problem? What can I do?  

It worked for getting our furniture, our car, and even our Mc Donalds table.